But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
