best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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