So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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