I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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