Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
