Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
worst night to have a conscience
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
