Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
