I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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