I need help removing her.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
