9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
