So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
