Will you blow on my dice?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
