I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
