I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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