Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
