Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
