Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
