Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
