loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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