Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
