Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
