Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
