I just saw a hot homeless man
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
