To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
