she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
