they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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