I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
