My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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