Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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