so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
