he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
