My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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