The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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