the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
cat food counts as protein by the way
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize