He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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