people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
