why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
