At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
