but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
