we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
