Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize