Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
