there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize