yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize