pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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