I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
