I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
