So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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