The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
