her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
