got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Still dying that you shit outside
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
