Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Found your dick twin last night
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
