i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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