Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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