Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
