No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
