Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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