So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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