If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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