I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
