This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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