I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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