why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize