I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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