weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
