An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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