So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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