a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
His nipple licking is glorious
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