Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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